If you know our family at all, you know that soccer has pretty much ruled our lives for the past few years. This year, however, something changed. True, two children were still playing the sport. But, Cole, my 12-year old, chose a slightly different path. He wanted to spread his wings. Try something new. Expand his horizons.He wanted to play football.
It's been a very eye-opening experience for me, as a mom. Because, you see, you don't just "play football." Football isn't something you just dabble in for a few hours a week.
When football season begins, the football player's entire existence suddenly revolves around the sport. And, there's something else that happened in our house. Strange and different behavior from Kirk, the Dad of the football player. Which got me to thinking...it sounded familiar. This excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to something.
The infusion of new ideology, beliefs, and practices into our household...A CULT. That's it! Football is a cult, and right under my nose, the brainwashing had begun.
A previously initiated cult member actively recruiting.
You can't just claim something is a cult without proof. Social scientists differ in what they consider a cult and what is not. But there are some general characteristics that are common between cults. Here is my humble analysis of why I believe football is a cult, based on my first-hand observations during the past couple of months.
#1: Football practices start out with "conditioning." Two hours everyday for 4 weeks. Boys are frequently seen throwing up on the sidelines while their dads proudly look on. They will say it's a "right of passage." Practice days may change at the last minute and there are no excuses for missing any part of it. Cult characteristic: Members of cults are expected to devote disproportionate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities. Debilitating work routines are used in excess.
#2: The "coach" becomes a supreme being. Parents are not allowed to question coach decisions. If the coach says the ankle's fine, the pain must be ignored, and play resumes. The coach is free to scream, curse, and demand excessive amounts of physical tasks. Cult characteristic: The leader is not accountable to any authorities AND induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members.
#3: Certain players, not wishing to play in their older age bracket, limit their weight gain throughout the season so as to stay within the league-mandated weight limits. This is done by their parents withholding pre-game meals 24 hours before weigh-in time. Cult characteristic: The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behavior that they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before.
#4: Church activities must now be scheduled around football games and practices. Because church leaders' sons play football this is acceptable. Unfortunately, it is not acceptable for those leaders whose sons do not play football. Cult characteristic: The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, it's leader and members. The group has a polarized us-verses-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.
#5: Dad suddenly is home from work at 5:30 p.m. everyday there is football practice. Dad searches sporting good store for high tech football appareal. Attention to detail becomes high priority. Great effort is put into assessing proper fit of all LAYERS of football attire. Cult characteristic: Members become obsessive about group activities and anticipate being together. Leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear. Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of money to further the cause of the group.
#1: Football practices start out with "conditioning." Two hours everyday for 4 weeks. Boys are frequently seen throwing up on the sidelines while their dads proudly look on. They will say it's a "right of passage." Practice days may change at the last minute and there are no excuses for missing any part of it. Cult characteristic: Members of cults are expected to devote disproportionate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities. Debilitating work routines are used in excess.
#2: The "coach" becomes a supreme being. Parents are not allowed to question coach decisions. If the coach says the ankle's fine, the pain must be ignored, and play resumes. The coach is free to scream, curse, and demand excessive amounts of physical tasks. Cult characteristic: The leader is not accountable to any authorities AND induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members.
#3: Certain players, not wishing to play in their older age bracket, limit their weight gain throughout the season so as to stay within the league-mandated weight limits. This is done by their parents withholding pre-game meals 24 hours before weigh-in time. Cult characteristic: The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behavior that they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before.
#4: Church activities must now be scheduled around football games and practices. Because church leaders' sons play football this is acceptable. Unfortunately, it is not acceptable for those leaders whose sons do not play football. Cult characteristic: The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, it's leader and members. The group has a polarized us-verses-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.
#5: Dad suddenly is home from work at 5:30 p.m. everyday there is football practice. Dad searches sporting good store for high tech football appareal. Attention to detail becomes high priority. Great effort is put into assessing proper fit of all LAYERS of football attire. Cult characteristic: Members become obsessive about group activities and anticipate being together. Leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear. Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of money to further the cause of the group.
Perhaps I am over-reacting just a tad. I guess I could be jumping to conclusions. After all, football is over now, and things seem to be back to normal. If it's not a CULT, then I have one more theory...it's genetic. A genetic disposition from one or more parents. If there is such a thing as a "football gene" we all know where Cole could have gotten such a thing....
Poor Evan, is there any way to escape his genetic destiny? I think not. Let the brainwashing begin!
6 comments:
I agree it is a cult. I watched as my brother joined the cult when I was young. I did not like it. When football season was around that is all anyone talked about. It drove me crazy. I hope to try and steer my son away from it. We'll see, he is only 5. I have a few more years to steer. :)
Hey, at least it's not as much of a cult as that one church... It's bonding. My husband only bonds with my kids over Spongebob. Be grateful. and pray he doesn't get hurt!
As a mother of two sons who have played/who do play football I agree it is a cult. My oldest son is firmly entrenched in the cult and football season never ends as he is now conditioning for the next year. Son #2 managed to leave the cult and stand up the cult leaders and their pressure to play. He has now been "footbal free" for over a year and staying strong.
Carol, this post is funny and scary all at the same time. Luckily Logan is WAY too small to ever even think about football. I'm glad your season is over for now. I heard Lauren made the varsity soccer team! That's awesome.
I loved this post. Even though I LOVE football, I do agree with your characterization of the sport. It does get pretty crazy when you're "actually" involved in it, not just watching it. I don't have any boys yet, but hopefully someday I'll get to experience it!
Too funny! My husband and I are currently caught up in the cult of fantasy football and will, no doubt, fall victim to the real thing when my boys are older!
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