Christmas 2008

I think if you asked the children they would say they had a good Christmas this year. We did all the normal "stuff" that they enjoy doing. We had Grandma and Pap Pap come and stay for Christmas week, which we all enjoyed. For me, Christmas felt a little bit rushed and I have to say, I didn't enjoy it like I wished I would have. I think Lauren's soccer schedule cut into my preparation time more than I thought it did. Maybe that's how we, as moms, always feel. But, next year, I'd like to enjoy my month a little bit more.

Here's some highlights that I managed to take pictures of...

This year, instead of letting the kids do all the sugar cookie decorating, I had a little fun myself and made sugar-cookie likenesses of each of the children. They all guessed right away which one was them. They were gobbled-up quickly, some faster than others. Lauren decided she did not want a picture taken with her sugar cookie look-a-like (party-pooper).

Here we are ice-skating.

Grandma was very brave and looks very happy and relaxed

in this picture (we were actually holding her up).

And, this is really all we saw of Evan, a flash of red followed by a terrific crash landing...

He would love ice-hockey!

Favorite gifts: Claire's video camera so she can record her "Crafting with Claire" episodes. Lauren read "Reunion" all day. Cole displays his new ipod, computer game, and Ironman video. Evan's marble tract.

Lauren and Pap Pap rocking out!

The kids received a turn table (record player) from Grandma and Pap Pap

and we got out all the old records! They were fascinated with such an "old fashioned" contraption!

They must've been good little children this year because Santa treated them very well!

WANTED...Lost Christmas Spirit, Please return!

So, this will be a random post about what is on my mind at 3:45 a.m. on a weekday in December. What would be on a mom's mind at such an hour in the month of December? Well, I know you're dying to know, so here it is:


-Family Christmas ornaments, got to do them, and get them out.
-cards, need to write the "letter" and mail them
-need to schedule traditions on the calendar
-cut-out Christmas cookies, when to do them?
-Family Sleep out under the tree, need to plan and schedule (cutting into teenager weekend time, should be interesting this year)
-Costco for jam, looking for jam to give with my homemade bread, should have made strawberry this summer from Brentwood strawberries.
-Gifts for friends (homemade bread? Cookies?)
-Gifts for neighbors, soccer people, teachers, oh my!
-Finish up gifts for family that need to be mailed (like yesterday)
-Pictures for Grandma, take some individual shots of the kids (help Denae)
-Food shopping, menu planning, make list
-Fold laundry
-waiting for on-line shopping items to arrive-hurry up!
-need to go out shopping with Kirk, this weekend? Yeah right. Got to finish up kid's gifts.
-need to take kids out for Kirk's gift. WHEN?
-Claire and Evan, work with them on Silent Night for ward Christmas party, it's still sounding very scary right now, only 2 days left to make it sound better (can you say squeaky violins?)
-Speaking of violins, order new violin for Claire so Evan can use hers. His fingers are too big for the one he's been using. What size? I think 3/4 now, how do you tell, they all look the same to me...
-FINISH ornaments on tree, get Lauren to get hers up
-keep watering the tree EVERYDAY so it doesn't dry out.

oh, and lest I forget:

-Get Christmas spirit oozing out of me again. What happened? I had it. Why can't I find it now? I think it's buried in my brain somewhere...

And finally, some cute pictures of the family. I know it's not Denae quality, but it was the best I could do with 15 minutes of daylight left on a Sunday afternoon. Only 1 crying fatality this year, and it happened toward the end (lucky me).









And, now that I see this cute family I think I feel a bit renewed and ready to tackle the tasks of the day.
I'll grab that Christmas Spirit by the horns and move forward!

But for now, I think I'll try and go back to sleep. There's 2 more hours before seminary...
Good night!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

This one's for you, Mom and Dad...

You can hardly go through a stack of old photos at my house without finding at least one "hunting for a Christmas tree" picture. When my family moved to California when I was 4, we began a tradition that, little did I know at the time, would continue well beyond our little family. From our home in San Jose we would drive on Highway 17 until just before asending the Santa Cruz Mountains. There's a very curvy road and after about 20 minutes, you find yourself in Christmas Tree HEAVEN! There's probably a dozen different "farms" from which you can select, after hours of joyfully trudging up and down the mountain, the PERFECT tree to adorn your home for Christmas. Okay, there might have been a few years, as a teenager, when the trudging wasn't done "joyfully" (right, Mom?). This was a much-looked forward to tradition that ALWAYS happened in our family. Mom took MANY pictures and to date there are probably hundreds (right Dad?) of pictures of us selecting, cutting down, tying to the car, my brother finding various mountain "creatures," and driving home the tree. Kirk was introduced to this tradition shortly after our marriage. I'm not sure how much attention he paid to the "fatherly duties" associated with this tradition.

Then one day six years ago, my own somewhat larger family, left Arizona for the Bay Area and something else was left behind--our artificial Christmas tree.

Yesterday, we left this dreary Brentwood FOG behind...

Did you know that fog can stay all-day long and you can go days and weeks without seeing the sun? I didn't, until I moved to Brentwood. I have issues with it.

And arrived HERE:

The beautiful Santa Cruz Mountains... SUNSHINE and some JOYFUL trudging in search of the PERFECT tree! Isn't it beautiful here? I secretly shed TEARS of JOY while listening to Yo Yo Ma and James Taylor sing "Here Comes The Sun" when we approached our favorite hunting ground:

These same farms have been here FOREVER, or at least since I was a child (no comments about my age, please).

At last we arrive and I religiously offer my thankfulness for beautiful weather:

And then begin our hunt...

The boys immediately whip out the walkie-talkies and become one with the trees. The girls search with me for THE tree. We use children as markers for the possible choices. I am the ultimate picker. When we had vaulted ceilings, we would try and find the tallest. Now, much to Kirk's relief, we are somewhat limited in height, so we look for girth. Anything's possible on the mountain. The best part? All trees are $45.00 no matter the type or size! Everyone had a happy day and we look forward to many more years of this great tradition.

Anyone want to join us next year?

We'd love to share our F-U-N !!!

Claire's Christmas Dance

After months of practicing, Claire's dance group (unnamed as of now) performed this past Saturday at Temple Hill for the Tree Lighting Program. She has been VERY excited and her expectations were fulfilled. She enjoyed performing, and especially wearing A LOT of make-up.

Here's the clip of the performance:

Here we are afterwards. If you look closely you can see the remnants of Evan's tantrum, and also the parent that had to deal with it (Kirk). It was a great night!!!

This "Season" is O-V-E-R !!!

Tonight, at a nearby non-profit youth sports office, a very significant event will occur. A new Executive Committee will be elected for our local youth soccer organization, EDYSL. It is significant because for the past 3 years, Kirk has been helping to run this organization as first, a Vice-President, and more recently, the President. Tonight, a new Vice-President and Treasurer will be elected and TOMORROW they will be able to appoint a new President. It is been an interesting experience to say the very least. Right now, I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. No more phone calls that never stop, no more nasty emails, no more heartbreaking emails, no more trying to figure out WHO is posturing for WHAT.

They say there are different "seasons" of life. Overall it was a good "season" of volunteering. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here's some things we hope we accomplished and are thankful for experiencing:

• We made MANY new friends in our town. It is refreshing to see how many wonderful, GOOD people are in our community. We hope we represented what a good "mormon" family should be like!
• Kirk was able to use many of his talents to rewrite by-laws, restructure the organization, and put some order in a board of volunteers. He oversaw the budget with integrity and tried to emphasize the importance of stewardship to the overall membership.
• We were able to be personally involved with our children's coaches.
• We were able to get other high quality individuals involved which elevated the quality of the entire league.
• Kirk was able to hire a professional development director to provide some level of unbiased decision-making.

And last, but not least, we are thankful for the opportunity to give of our time and talents and to witness so many others who have done the same. We realized that good people NEED to step up and MAKE time to participate in their community. And while this "season" is over for right now, I have no doubt it will come again just as sure as Spring follows Winter!

Last year, literally in the middle of the "season." Our EDYSL kids!

(HATE this picture of me, I look frazzled, which actually is an accurate portrayal of me during "the season")

The Cult of FOOTBALL

If you know our family at all, you know that soccer has pretty much ruled our lives for the past few years. This year, however, something changed. True, two children were still playing the sport. But, Cole, my 12-year old, chose a slightly different path. He wanted to spread his wings. Try something new. Expand his horizons.

He wanted to play football.

It's been a very eye-opening experience for me, as a mom. Because, you see, you don't just "play football." Football isn't something you just dabble in for a few hours a week.

When football season begins, the football player's entire existence suddenly revolves around the sport. And, there's something else that happened in our house. Strange and different behavior from Kirk, the Dad of the football player. Which got me to thinking...it sounded familiar. This excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to something.

The infusion of new ideology, beliefs, and practices into our household...A CULT. That's it! Football is a cult, and right under my nose, the brainwashing had begun.

A previously initiated cult member actively recruiting.

You can't just claim something is a cult without proof. Social scientists differ in what they consider a cult and what is not. But there are some general characteristics that are common between cults. Here is my humble analysis of why I believe football is a cult, based on my first-hand observations during the past couple of months.

#1: Football practices start out with "conditioning." Two hours everyday for 4 weeks. Boys are frequently seen throwing up on the sidelines while their dads proudly look on. They will say it's a "right of passage." Practice days may change at the last minute and there are no excuses for missing any part of it. Cult characteristic: Members of cults are expected to devote disproportionate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities. Debilitating work routines are used in excess.

#2: The "coach" becomes a supreme being. Parents are not allowed to question coach decisions. If the coach says the ankle's fine, the pain must be ignored, and play resumes. The coach is free to scream, curse, and demand excessive amounts of physical tasks. Cult characteristic: The leader is not accountable to any authorities AND induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members.

#3: Certain players, not wishing to play in their older age bracket, limit their weight gain throughout the season so as to stay within the league-mandated weight limits. This is done by their parents withholding pre-game meals 24 hours before weigh-in time. Cult characteristic: The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behavior that they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before.

#4: Church activities must now be scheduled around football games and practices. Because church leaders' sons play football this is acceptable. Unfortunately, it is not acceptable for those leaders whose sons do not play football. Cult characteristic: The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, it's leader and members. The group has a polarized us-verses-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

#5: Dad suddenly is home from work at 5:30 p.m. everyday there is football practice. Dad searches sporting good store for high tech football appareal. Attention to detail becomes high priority. Great effort is put into assessing proper fit of all LAYERS of football attire. Cult characteristic: Members become obsessive about group activities and anticipate being together. Leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear. Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of money to further the cause of the group.

Perhaps I am over-reacting just a tad. I guess I could be jumping to conclusions. After all, football is over now, and things seem to be back to normal. If it's not a CULT, then I have one more theory...it's genetic. A genetic disposition from one or more parents. If there is such a thing as a "football gene" we all know where Cole could have gotten such a thing....

Poor Evan, is there any way to escape his genetic destiny? I think not. Let the brainwashing begin!

Premonitions

Here's a picture of Lauren and Claire having fun at Grandma's in Arizona. They are beautiful on the outside (granted, I'm biased), but my goal, as their mother, is to enhance the beauty on the inside and attempt to keep it from being contaminated by the "world."

I had a dream last night. It involved Claire being trapped in a glass office-type building. Something bad was trying to get her (this might have something to do with a recent viewing of Poltergeist). I was trying to rescue her but was unsuccessful. I woke myself up so as to stop the dream.

Today, I took Lauren to the doctor's office for her yearly check-up. For a portion of the appointment, the doctor asked me to leave so she could examine Lauren. I knew Lauren wouldn't really have wanted me in, so I stepped out. While I was out of the room, the young doctor (And I mean young) proceeded to ask Lauren questions about her sexual activity, what she knew about sex, HIV, and alcohol and drugs. I could hear what was being said from where I was and I intently listened to Lauren's answers. Lauren did a great job explaining to the doctor her standards and decisions she has made regarding these issues. I was very proud of her.

BUT...(and this is where I switch into my "I am woman, hear me ROAR" persona) why did this doctor feel she had the right, without parental permission, to ask my daughter these questions? I am so upset about this. There was a natural assumption that it was her duty as a doctor to probe into my daughter's morality AND that her duty to do this TRUMPED my parental rights? I have run into this attitude with teachers and administrators in the public schools (which would require an entirely different entry and include the words Planned Parenthood and condom demonstration), but was surprised that a privately run doctor's office would also employ these tactics. It is discouraging.

I understand why they feel the need. I know many parents these days are disengaged. I know many parents engage in risky behavior themselves. I shudder to think of the number of 15-year-olds at her high school that are sexually active. But, at the very least, shouldn't a doctor attempt to have a conversation with the parent to discern the necessity for such personally intrusive information? Can't there be more respect and credence given for our Christian lifestyle?

And so, can anyone tell me where there is a rock that I can take my family and crawl under? Because, right now, I want to preserve what purity and beauty that is there. Just like my dream last night, I'm trying to rescue them from the glass office building with the "poltergeists" that are chasing them around. Except, I want a better ending than my nightmare had. In fact, I EXPECT a better ending. And, I guess if I push aside my frustrations and turn to my Heavenly Father, I know I am not the only one determined to help my beautiful daughters turn into the incredible women they are meant to be.

Halloween 2008

It was a quiet Halloween this year. Only 2 costumes to worry about and 2 pumpkins to carve. Evan was a werewolf and Claire was a "fashion designer." At least that was the story. I think she just wanted the outfit! Lauren and Cole were off at parties with their friends. Evan was in charge of decorating the front porch and took his job very seriously. We had spider webs with spiders, skeletons, and a fog machine. It was a great way to welcome in the fall season and we are all excited for the holiday season (that's my story and I'm sticking to it)!

Lauren's Dream!

Lauren has always loved to read and has many favorite books. This is one of Lauren's favorites--about one of Lauren's idols--Mia Hamm. Lauren has read this book many times over...

In fact, she has highlighted parts of it and sectioned it off with post-it notes.

I have always admired the way Lauren works at things. She figures out what she wants to accomplish and then makes a plan. I know it would be a dream come true for her to someday meet Mia Hamm. In the meantime, she's working on another dream...

Lauren spends countless hours in the backyard practicing. She can juggle the soccer ball well over 100 times without stopping. Lauren would love to play soccer in college. She would especially love to play for BYU! Last month the BYU Women's Team came to the Bay Area to play UC Berkeley. We took the kids out of school early and made the trip. There were actually a lot of Cougar fans in the stand and even one lady who insisted on singing the Cougar Fight Song (solo) at the end of the game. If I could have gotten a picture of Cole staring at her it would have been priceless. Here's a few pictures from the game.

We had a great time, but more importantly, Lauren got a vision of where she wants to go. Good luck with your dream, Lauren--we're all rooting for you!

The Budding Violinists!

Yesterday Clarie and Evan had the wonderful opportunity to perform with their teacher's professional string quartet at a school assembly in Oakley. They were very nervous and not too sure they wanted to do it--translated that means that, yes, I did force them! But they ended up really enjoying it. What a great experience. They loved playing with adults.



Here's a little clip of the performance:

Not only was this good for them--it was good for me also. All the driving to lessons, all the nagging about practicing--it was payback for me. It reaffirms to me the importance of music lessons, sorry guys... you're NEVER quitting!

Out of the Mouth of Babes...

What would I do without my Evan? He's always there for me. Here's a conversation I just had with him while driving him to soccer practice. I must note that just as he began talking I was listening to Bill O'Riley on the Radio talk about Proposition 8 and wishing Evan would just be quiet so I could listen (shame on me). He started out talking about Halloween decorations and then started into this:

Evan: "Mom, when you were a little girl, did you go to the temple with your mom and dad and get sealed with them?"

Me: "No, I didn't Evan."

Evan: " (After a pause)...that means that you won't be with them forever."

Me: "I know Evan, that's something that I pray for everyday."

Evan: "Okay, Mom, I'm going to help you pray for that too."

I'm so thankful for my wonderful children who remind me each and everyday what is really important in life. Thanks Evan for making my "Terrible Tuesday of Driving" around completely worth it!!! I know that someday soon, OUR prayers will be answered!!!

The Mystery of the 12-year-old Male Brain

Could someone please explain to me how my twelve-year-old can remember 50-different football plays but can't seem to remember to put his name on school assignments? Why, after receiving an "F" on an Algebra test, he fails to remember his teacher telling the class that they are allowed a re-take in order to raise their grades?

Cole looking deceptively innocent of all wrong-doing.

He's actually very intelligent so I'm wondering, is there a biological reason for these never-ending "mishaps." Is there some hormone released during puberty that gets in the way of common sense and listening ability? Does it really "hurt" his brain to answer questions with another answer besides, "good?" Because it really does look like he is in physical pain when I ask him questions.

If I could have a doctor who specializes in the physiological reasons for such illogical responses tell me that this is normal and it will pass, I would feel much better. I might not have so many grey hairs. I might not be lead to reward myself with a pint of Ben & Jerry's for making it through the week of homework with him. I could lose the weight I've been wanting to lose. I could stop obsessing over on-line progress reports...

Oh, that it were that easy. Nope, I'm going to have to suffer through just like all the other parents with twelve-year-old boys. Don't tell me that in a year, I'll be writing about the brain of a thirteen-year-old. I can't handle it right now. Where's my Ben & Jerry's?

Good thing, for him, he does stuff like this every once in a while...


Cole, after receiving his First and Second Class Scouts awards along with a bunch of Merit Badges.

Skipping Church

Well, not really skipping...more like substituting. Grandpa was conducting a Stake Conference at the Interstake Center on Temple Hill, so we got to sneak over and have a short visit. Claire didn't realize we were seeing Grandpa "in person" until we got there. She thought he would just be on a screen (I guess she thought it was a broadcast from Salt Lake)! It was a wonderful session and it was so great to see Grandpa. We also got to have lunch at the Stake President's home in the Piedmont Hills. A gorgeous old Victorian. The kids felt a little too much at home and explored all the nooks and crannies of the home. They had a great time. What a fun Sunday! The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have Grandma there too!

I must mention that Cole is standing on his tip toes.

He is NOT taller than Grandpa, or ME, or Lauren...at least not yet!

You're just like your MOM!

If someone were to say to me, "Oh, you're just like your mom," I would have to say, "thanks so much," because for me, there could be no greater compliment.

I hope I am just like my mom. Here's why...

Linda Mae was a small-town Pennsylvania girl (a very fashionable, small-town girl). Her husband (my DAD) went away to Vietnam just after my birth. She raised me by herself until I was two years old. She was just 20 years old! I hope I could have the courage and strength to do something like that!

Then when I was 5, my parents moved to the other side of the country, away from small-town life. I think that took a lot of guts for my mom to leave all our extended family and follow my Dad and his career. It also allowed some other wonderful thing to happen to my family...

In California, Linda Mae listened to two-Mormon missionaries and she and I were baptized. My Dad wasn't too sure about this, but after decades of prayers by my faithful mother, his heart was touched also. I marvel at the strength of her conviction. I hope I have the strength to stand up and change my life like my mother did.

I also hope that as I get older I will be as willing to grow and learn as I have seen my mother (and father) do. When Michael was well into school, Linda Mae went back to school. Working and working MANY years to get-not only her bachelor degree--but also her masters!

Once, someone really wonderful told me a secret about my mom: "You have a saintly mother..." I'd have to agree with that! And add, because of the many wise, wonderful, and brave things my mom has done, I have been blesssed with THIS in my life...

AND ALL THIS!!!

So, I hope someday someone will say to me, "You're just like your mom."

I will know I'm right on track!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND GRANDMA!

Your "saintly" influence will be felt for generations to come!

A Milestone and A Memory

Sometimes challenges in life go on for a long time and it's hard to tell if there's progress being made. I realized yesterday that we have reached a milestone with Evan and the challenges he has had with reading. I'd like to celebrate--just a little bit!

Evan is doing his homework by himself, independently, for the first time, EVER!

I know I always took it for granted that kids learn to read and homework gets done. Evan's taught us that sometimes our brains don't work the same and we need a little help figuring the "reading thing" out. It has been a year now that we have been working with Evan to help him. I am so proud of Evan for his determination and patience (with reading and with ME). It has been a learning experience for both of us!

The thought occurred to me that, because of Evan's young age, he might not have very many memories of what we've accomplished and how far we've come. So, here's some memories in hopes that someday Evan will read this and feel proud of himself and loved by his family!

Last fall, in Evan's 2nd Grade year, we realized that Evan was far behind with his reading. It was affecting his confidence and willingness to read in front of others. Thanks to Grandma, we were quickly able to determine that he had a challenge processing words. After much deliberation, we decided the quickest and best way to help Evan was to take him to the LindaMood Bell Learning Center in Walnut Creek. We took Evan out of school for 6 weeks. Every day for 4 hours Evan would work one-on-one with a clinician. He worked very hard and was very tired each day. Besides that work, Evan had to keep up on the schoolwork he was missing. Another 2 hours each day was spent doing that. In addition, driving time added 2 more hours to his day. Throughout this time, Evan was a real trooper. Most mornings Evan got to ride into Walnut Creek with Dad on his way to work and then I would pick him up at noon. On Fridays, for his reward, we went to McDonalds in Walnut Creek for lunch!

Here's the Learning Center and some of the people that Evan worked with. It was a happy and positive place to be. Evan's attitude and confidence with reading changed immediately. Evan made new friends with the other students there. His favorite person to work with was Kyle. Evan also spent 2 weeks of his Christmas vacation at the Learning Center. I was trained during that time so I could take over working with Evan. It was a huge sacrifice of our financial resources and time, BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!!

Then it was my turn, Evan and I began "working" together four times a week after school for 1 hour. At first, I became very frustrated and wasn't very patient. But Evan hung in there and I got better at being the "teacher," instead of the mother. We kept at it over the summer. Now, in 3rd Grade, Evan is almost up to grade level with his fluency (reading speed). He is at grade level in all other aspects of the reading process. We are still working together, but now in the morning. Evan is getting faster at everything. What do we do? We work on spelling words with his "Visual Spelling Chart." We work on sight words with his Star Words (when I'm tired I call them Star Wars and Evan always cracks up). Evan knows well over 1,000 words. He is working on the 4th grade list right now. Then we do the LindaMood Workbooks. It is Evan's least favorite. He has to spell words that he "pictures in his head" that are made up words like, "fepperance" and "sprointment." He earns really great prizes for his work and stays motivated. He loves having more playtime after school.

We still have some work ahead of us but we are on the right track. My hope is that Evan will love reading and always be able to rise to his full potential. I know that the bond we have formed will always keep us close together. It was definitely a blessing in disguise. I hope that someday he will be able to say that a great weakness turned into a great strength. I also know that he was not only helped by experts in the field, and his mother, who tried her best, but also by a loving Father in Heaven who blessed him with a determination to succeed.