The Mystery of the 12-year-old Male Brain

Could someone please explain to me how my twelve-year-old can remember 50-different football plays but can't seem to remember to put his name on school assignments? Why, after receiving an "F" on an Algebra test, he fails to remember his teacher telling the class that they are allowed a re-take in order to raise their grades?

Cole looking deceptively innocent of all wrong-doing.

He's actually very intelligent so I'm wondering, is there a biological reason for these never-ending "mishaps." Is there some hormone released during puberty that gets in the way of common sense and listening ability? Does it really "hurt" his brain to answer questions with another answer besides, "good?" Because it really does look like he is in physical pain when I ask him questions.

If I could have a doctor who specializes in the physiological reasons for such illogical responses tell me that this is normal and it will pass, I would feel much better. I might not have so many grey hairs. I might not be lead to reward myself with a pint of Ben & Jerry's for making it through the week of homework with him. I could lose the weight I've been wanting to lose. I could stop obsessing over on-line progress reports...

Oh, that it were that easy. Nope, I'm going to have to suffer through just like all the other parents with twelve-year-old boys. Don't tell me that in a year, I'll be writing about the brain of a thirteen-year-old. I can't handle it right now. Where's my Ben & Jerry's?

Good thing, for him, he does stuff like this every once in a while...


Cole, after receiving his First and Second Class Scouts awards along with a bunch of Merit Badges.

Skipping Church

Well, not really skipping...more like substituting. Grandpa was conducting a Stake Conference at the Interstake Center on Temple Hill, so we got to sneak over and have a short visit. Claire didn't realize we were seeing Grandpa "in person" until we got there. She thought he would just be on a screen (I guess she thought it was a broadcast from Salt Lake)! It was a wonderful session and it was so great to see Grandpa. We also got to have lunch at the Stake President's home in the Piedmont Hills. A gorgeous old Victorian. The kids felt a little too much at home and explored all the nooks and crannies of the home. They had a great time. What a fun Sunday! The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have Grandma there too!

I must mention that Cole is standing on his tip toes.

He is NOT taller than Grandpa, or ME, or Lauren...at least not yet!

You're just like your MOM!

If someone were to say to me, "Oh, you're just like your mom," I would have to say, "thanks so much," because for me, there could be no greater compliment.

I hope I am just like my mom. Here's why...

Linda Mae was a small-town Pennsylvania girl (a very fashionable, small-town girl). Her husband (my DAD) went away to Vietnam just after my birth. She raised me by herself until I was two years old. She was just 20 years old! I hope I could have the courage and strength to do something like that!

Then when I was 5, my parents moved to the other side of the country, away from small-town life. I think that took a lot of guts for my mom to leave all our extended family and follow my Dad and his career. It also allowed some other wonderful thing to happen to my family...

In California, Linda Mae listened to two-Mormon missionaries and she and I were baptized. My Dad wasn't too sure about this, but after decades of prayers by my faithful mother, his heart was touched also. I marvel at the strength of her conviction. I hope I have the strength to stand up and change my life like my mother did.

I also hope that as I get older I will be as willing to grow and learn as I have seen my mother (and father) do. When Michael was well into school, Linda Mae went back to school. Working and working MANY years to get-not only her bachelor degree--but also her masters!

Once, someone really wonderful told me a secret about my mom: "You have a saintly mother..." I'd have to agree with that! And add, because of the many wise, wonderful, and brave things my mom has done, I have been blesssed with THIS in my life...

AND ALL THIS!!!

So, I hope someday someone will say to me, "You're just like your mom."

I will know I'm right on track!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND GRANDMA!

Your "saintly" influence will be felt for generations to come!

A Milestone and A Memory

Sometimes challenges in life go on for a long time and it's hard to tell if there's progress being made. I realized yesterday that we have reached a milestone with Evan and the challenges he has had with reading. I'd like to celebrate--just a little bit!

Evan is doing his homework by himself, independently, for the first time, EVER!

I know I always took it for granted that kids learn to read and homework gets done. Evan's taught us that sometimes our brains don't work the same and we need a little help figuring the "reading thing" out. It has been a year now that we have been working with Evan to help him. I am so proud of Evan for his determination and patience (with reading and with ME). It has been a learning experience for both of us!

The thought occurred to me that, because of Evan's young age, he might not have very many memories of what we've accomplished and how far we've come. So, here's some memories in hopes that someday Evan will read this and feel proud of himself and loved by his family!

Last fall, in Evan's 2nd Grade year, we realized that Evan was far behind with his reading. It was affecting his confidence and willingness to read in front of others. Thanks to Grandma, we were quickly able to determine that he had a challenge processing words. After much deliberation, we decided the quickest and best way to help Evan was to take him to the LindaMood Bell Learning Center in Walnut Creek. We took Evan out of school for 6 weeks. Every day for 4 hours Evan would work one-on-one with a clinician. He worked very hard and was very tired each day. Besides that work, Evan had to keep up on the schoolwork he was missing. Another 2 hours each day was spent doing that. In addition, driving time added 2 more hours to his day. Throughout this time, Evan was a real trooper. Most mornings Evan got to ride into Walnut Creek with Dad on his way to work and then I would pick him up at noon. On Fridays, for his reward, we went to McDonalds in Walnut Creek for lunch!

Here's the Learning Center and some of the people that Evan worked with. It was a happy and positive place to be. Evan's attitude and confidence with reading changed immediately. Evan made new friends with the other students there. His favorite person to work with was Kyle. Evan also spent 2 weeks of his Christmas vacation at the Learning Center. I was trained during that time so I could take over working with Evan. It was a huge sacrifice of our financial resources and time, BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!!

Then it was my turn, Evan and I began "working" together four times a week after school for 1 hour. At first, I became very frustrated and wasn't very patient. But Evan hung in there and I got better at being the "teacher," instead of the mother. We kept at it over the summer. Now, in 3rd Grade, Evan is almost up to grade level with his fluency (reading speed). He is at grade level in all other aspects of the reading process. We are still working together, but now in the morning. Evan is getting faster at everything. What do we do? We work on spelling words with his "Visual Spelling Chart." We work on sight words with his Star Words (when I'm tired I call them Star Wars and Evan always cracks up). Evan knows well over 1,000 words. He is working on the 4th grade list right now. Then we do the LindaMood Workbooks. It is Evan's least favorite. He has to spell words that he "pictures in his head" that are made up words like, "fepperance" and "sprointment." He earns really great prizes for his work and stays motivated. He loves having more playtime after school.

We still have some work ahead of us but we are on the right track. My hope is that Evan will love reading and always be able to rise to his full potential. I know that the bond we have formed will always keep us close together. It was definitely a blessing in disguise. I hope that someday he will be able to say that a great weakness turned into a great strength. I also know that he was not only helped by experts in the field, and his mother, who tried her best, but also by a loving Father in Heaven who blessed him with a determination to succeed.

A Moment in Time

At any given moment there can be many different things going on at our house. Here's what was happening Sunday afternoon at approximately 5:10 p.m.

Evan "hanging" out --- Claire doing a puppet show --- Lauren getting in trouble for reading instead of cleaning up her VERY messy room --- Cole with his personal Algebra tutor ---

By the way, what is it with teenagers and picture taking? For some reason, all of the sudden, I'm not allowed to take pictures of them. And, if I do, they try to cover their face. Whatever--see if that stops me!

Weekend of LABOR!

We "fired" the gardeners a few months ago...Cole wanted the responsibility (and payment) for mowing the lawns. Kirk and I agreed that this would be a good experience for him. Turns out, mowing the grass is probably the EASY part of maintaining the yard. Our nearly 1/2 acre of landscaping actually requires a lot of attention (an enlightening moment for us). So, our 3-day weekend, which happened to be 100% sporting-event free, turned into our Labor Day Weekend project! Overall, I have to say, our kids did a great job helping out. Once we got Cole and Lauren OUT of bed in the morning, they were very productive, with minimal drama! Here's a few pictures from the weekend...

Evan, in front of our 5 yards of mulch. Turns out we could have used about 2 more yards, but we made it work. The kids quickly figured out that shoveling into the wheelbarrow was the hard part of the job.

Claire, ever the glamour girl, managed to look spectacular while clipping "suckers" from the trees. They liked saying the word "suckers" without getting in trouble!

Speaking of "glamour girls," Lauren and friends managed to squeeze in a Church-sponsored Dance down in Pleasanton Saturday night. As parents, we go to great lengths (and great driving distances) so that they can enjoy a dance that is more wholesome than what they find at their school dances.

Sunday morning I awoke to "craftime" with Claire and Evan. They were quietly creating little egg-carton bugs together. What did I ever do to deserve these two-great kids? Oh, yeah, the other two are great also, but they are teenagers now, so the sentiment is not always there!